In the world of science, however, emotions did not have such a hold. In the past they took a back seat to more clear-cut scientific topics. But now an increasing amount of evidence is showing that the emotion of fear is decipherable. That’s right Fear is decipherable.

The identification of a specific brain system that processes fear is spurring a great interest in the field. I call this the ‘E’ Spot.

An almond-shaped area of the brain, the amygdala Ah’ mig-da la

receives signals of the potential danger and begins to set off a series of reactions that will help you protect yourself.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. Additional messages sent to the (Ah-mig-dah-la) Determine that the wavering image is only a branch. This time there is no need to bolt. The fear response is snuffed out and you return to sleep.

In addition, scientists are uncovering the biochemical reactions that control the fear response and are searching for the brain regions that modify the response in the amygdala. They also are hunting for the brain structures that help store dreadful memories over time.Insight on the fear system also is motivating researchers to untangle the possible differences between fear and anxiety. Fear involves a quick hit-and-run process in the brain. Anxiety stirs a slower reaction that lasts a while. This suggests that the processing of the two emotions may be different. Indeed, early studies show that different parts of the (amygdala) may process anxiety versus fear.  

Childhood Amygdala Damage

The fear and anxiety software to operate the Amygdala, our ‘E’ Spot, the manager of our emotions is acquired in childhood. Blame it on your parents, especially your mom. Erik Erikson, Sigmund Freud’s protégé, claimed in his 1965 book, “Childhood & Society”, that there are eight stages of man, six of them prior to adulthood. How we emerge from the critical periods of child development manifests itself in our adult behavior.  

Harville Hendrix, the famed psychotherapist, in his book, “Keeping the Love You Find” uses the six periods of childhood development:  

ATTACHMENT 0 18 months of age,  EXPLORATION: 18 months to 3years, IDENTITY: 3 to 4, COMPETENCY: 4 to 7,  CONCERN FOR OTHERS: 7 to 13, and INTIMACY: 13 to 19; 

as the basis for his marital counseling work.  

Some event or the dynamic in the relationship with our parents imprints on our AMYGDALA Ah’-mig-da-la, our emotional brain, with fear and anxiety. The timing of the event, experience and/or emotional treatment, programs our subconscious with different fear and anxiety responses. Our Interpersonal relations, public and private, are de-facto managed by this fractured emotional guidance system.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 The world’s most psychoanalyzed couple Bill And Hillary, are the poster children for this phenomena of adults acting like children, and they are not alone. According to Hendrix, 35% of the population, lack a sense of  attachment with their birth mother. Bill’s mom, Rose, emoted fear and anxiety messages to her son because her husband was not there. Hillary’s mother was equally anxious about her first born because she herself had grown up in her grandmother’s home because of her own mother’s inability to care for her.

How Do We Know When We Are Under Amygdala Management?

The lips are our most emotionally expressive bodily features. Lip and jaw tension clearly reflects anxious feelings, nervousness, and emotional concerns. Thus a tense-mouth precisely marks the onset of a mood shift, a novel thought, or a sudden change of heart. The tense-mouth has been observed as a sign of 1) anger, frustration, and threat; 2) of determination; 3) of sympathy; and 4) of cognitive processing(e.g., while pondering, thinking, or feeling uncertain). The face may show obvious muscular tension (i.e., with the lips held tightly together) or less noticeable tension (i.e., with the lips parted and slightly tightened). Examples: “the subliminal (i.e., barely noticeable) tension in a wife's lips prompts her husband to ask, "What's wrong?".  “the CEO's tense-mouth face greets staff as they enter the conference room, creating a guarded atmosphere in which nobody speaks.  

The lips of a chronically angry, anxious, or intense individual may "freeze" in a permanently tight-lipped expression, as shown in this tense-mouth pose of

President William Jefferson Clinton, sitting in the Map Room of the White House on August 17, 1998, minutes before making a televised statement to the American people: "Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms. Lewinsky that was not appropriate."  

We Have Nothing to Fear but the Fear of the Self: 

What was and is Bill so subconsciously worried about? He has been telling himself, since his father died three months after he was born, that he has no right to exist. I know how he feels and quiet possibly two billion other folks do too. Isn’t there anything Bill or any of us can do to overcome our subconscious fears? Aren’t there some Amygdala pills we can take. For $375 you can attend a weekend workshop, called Imago Dialogue. Certified Harville Hendrix trained psychotherapists will take you on an emotional regression to your childhood. For $3.75 you can buy a used copy of “Keeping the Love You Find ”.  

Close: So, why am I telling all you self-employed managers all this? I’m not your boss and even if I was you would respond to me the way your squashed Amygdala tells you too. Each negative message has a positive antidote. Hillary needs to “Let Go, Negotiate and Do stuff on her own” like maybe become a Senator from New York. Easy Bill has to claim his “right to be” in his own way, not hide behind the title of president. The latest issue of Toastmaster magazine features articles on leadership – the board of Toastmasters International wants to be recognized as much for its leadership training as it now has in communication skills training– one spoke to leading yourself first. Each of us is our own best psychiatrist. We can all go to WebMD and diagnose our physical ailments. I am leaving with you tonight the twelve possible internal messages of fear, followed by their corresponding growth challenges. Here’s to your mental health. Mr Toastmaster.  

A baseball legend, the best kind of legend, has the manager going to the mound in a bottom of the ninth, bases loaded,   World Series to caution his pitcher, "Whatever you do, don't   throw it high and inside or he'll knock it out of the park". Pretty stupid coaching huh? 

This phenomena of doing the opposite of what you want to do is called ‘Target Focus’ What your mind focuses on, positively or negatively is your target and you score a bull’s eye every time.